More than ever do I feel like letting myself slip away from this life.
I constantly have this weight over my head and shoulders, always stressing about my tomorrows, or if there will be a tomorrow. I have yet another burden to worry about that’s about to mess my life up really bad, and I don’t know when it’s going to happen, which is literally ripping me apart.
How sad to see how my life came to be compared to a few years ago. That’s the worst part, people seeing how you turned out and thinking, “oh she doesn’t see where she’s heading. She just doesn’t care.” I’m fucking falling apart, I feel like there is ticking time bomb inside my head. YES I have tried to get back on track, but surprise surprise, life turned out to be a little harder than what people assumed about me.
I feel like I want to stop caring. Stop with these feelings, stop with this hope that things will one day be ok, stop with that crazy faith that creeps up on me every now then, because in the end it just burns like hell. I just want to feel blank. Simple as that… emotionless, gone, blank.